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A little bit better than the average blog.

Category: News

Posts about current events.

Jerry Seinfeld Wonks on Political Correctness

Jerry Seinfeld lamented the state of political correctness on college campuses today during an ESPN interview with Colin Cowherd. When asked if college students are too sensitive in light of recent claims made by Chris Rock and Larry the Cable Guy, Seinfeld responded:

“I hear that all the time. I don’t play colleges, but I hear a lot of people tell me ‘Don’t play colleges, they’re too PC.”

“I’ll give you an example: my daughter’s 14. My wife says to her, ‘Well, you know in the next couple years I think maybe you’ll want to hang around the city on the weekends so you can see boys. My daughter says, ‘That’s sexist.”

“They just want to use these words: ‘That’s racist. That’s sexist. That’s prejudice.’ They don’t even know what they’re talking about.”

When asked, “Does it hurt comedy?” Seinfeld’s quick to answer, “Yes it does. Yes it does.”

However…

Seinfeld isn’t engraving his thesis on the state of politics with “kids these days”, but there are already a handful of problems in this admittedly short excerpt of opinion.

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We Should Space Jam ISIS

president obama ISIL address

In September of 2014, President Obama outlined his strategy to counter the expansion of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL, formerly known as ISIS) across Syria, Iraq and the Middle East. He proposed crushing pressure by reinforcing the Iraqi Army and Syrian resistance fighters on either side of ISIL, denying their financial resources and tactically air-striking vital targets without sending American troops on combat missions.

However, the following February Obama sent an Authorization for the Use of Military Force request to Congress to address the growing ISIL threat, making it near certain our troops will engage. US special forces are already on the ground in Syria. It’s only a matter of time.

This is a terrible fork in the road. If we send troops, we will suffer tragedy and expend resources on further engagements abroad. If we don’t, it’s feared our allies won’t finish the fight and many will die horribly while ISIL expands its vicious empire. The atrocities they will commit are already apparent online.

We need a non-violent solution to this problem, but it must be effective and absolute in defeating ISIL’s belief that they can win against the world. We must demoralize them on terms that will forever prove the might of the free against violent oppressors.

To truly win against them, we should challenge ISIL to a Space Jam.

space jam logo

Huh?

With Congress’ approval, the US would formally challenge ISIL to an all-star game of basketball, or rather streetball to keep in the spirit of the classic ’90s film Space Jam featuring the Looney Tunes and Michael Jordan swan diving from the height of his credibility. But we won’t be able to play all our best ballers. We know what happens at the Olympics; no one’s going to agree to those terms. (more…)

Flatulent Bartender Brings Relative Quality Boost To Panama Bar Cafe

CHICO, CA – Patrons of Panama Bar Cafe are in for a special treat with the introduction of a startling new garnish. Drink queefing has come to the Northern Valley, freshly imported from our neighbors beside The Bay.panama bar cafe internal

Driving this new fad is Panama bartender Jessie Hughes, her slim frame deceptively harboring a “metric fuckton of fluff”, she beams proudly.

After filling an initial order, Hughes squats approximately three inches above the glass so that her inner labia lightly tickle its rim, and with a flex and a grunt she windsocks a near-solid emission into the drink, giving it a “distinctly savory and memorable” flavor, Hughes says. Also described as “spicy” and “pungent”, it brings new meaning to the old soldier’s adage, “Rather a barmaid’s noxious trench than the battlefield’s.” (more…)

Bartow High School in Florida Punishes Girl for Practicing Science; Rest of Country Completely Unsurprised

kiera wilmot16-year-old Kiera Wilmot conducted a science experiment with toilet cleaner and aluminum foil that caused a minor explosion which did not harm anyone or cause any damage. She did it on her own free time and in the pursuit of knowledge. Normal, well-adjusted, intelligent people would of course commend her for pursuing her own education, but she lives in Florida so that is not what happened. Since she did it on school grounds, the school’s resources officer had her arrested. She will be tried as an adult and has been permanently expelled from school. She must now complete her education through an expulsion program.

Wilmot failed to inform anyone of her experiment and I concede that there was a real potential for harm here that cannot be overlooked, but the absolute reality here is that exactly NOTHING bad happened to anyone, except for Wilmot. Principal Ron Pritchard is quoted as saying, ” “She made a bad choice. Honestly, I don’t think she meant to ever hurt anyone. She wanted to see what would happen [when the chemicals mixed] and was shocked by what it did. Her mother is shocked, too.”

Polk County School District released this incompetent statement following the incident:

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Finally Some Internet Privacy: Bill Aims to Address Privacy Protection

Just about every evolution adheres to the catchphrase “two steps forward, one step back”. While the internet has been perhaps the largest two steps mankind has ever taken, it came with an immense regression in respect to personal privacy. These days, multitrillion dollar corporations will not bat an eye at using your personal data for profit, even if that means selling it to people with unknown or outright amoral interests.

The American government has taken close to zero steps to address internet privacy, which we can all rest assured has absolutely nothing to do with lobbying. But finally, that is going to change. The Right to Know Act will not prevent companies from doing what they will with your data, but it does require them to disclose all​ personal data that they retain about you and provide contact info for every 3rd party that they’ve given that data to over the last 12 months. “This bill would also provide that a violation of these provisions is deemed to constitute an injury to the customer for purposes of seeking remedies available under law.AB-1291

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