Writing may be one of the most difficult jobs in the world. No other job is as dangerous or often lethal as writing (to pride at least). Wielding the mighty pen, clashing with paper, defeating just yourself but growing from it, and waking late the next day to do it all again is the blood call of every warrior scribe.
But constant battle ensures exhaustion, sapping the will to write from the best of us at regular intervals. It’s important to have a healthy training regime against the eventuality of “writer’s block”, so I’ve collected below 7 bad tips to keep your writing productive; like, they’re super bad, so bad they’ll rock your world and really change the way you write. Hopefully for the better.
7 Bad Ass Tips on Writing Productively
When you envision your inevitable victory as a writer, are you being handed trophies for having read every book in the next great fantasy series or did you write them? This should be obvious, but writers should be writing, not reading.
Reading is important to children. It helps their weak, tiny, stupid brains grow. When you can’t read, it’s vital to learn how, but it’s also like riding a bike: once you understand, you should get a car and stop playing with kids’ toys.
And consider how much time is wasted while reading. “This person said that and did it like this.” “That guy fell off whatever into her who knows.” Whoooo caaaares, amiright? This is why America loves movies; you can just see what’s happening, who’s doing what and how. If an author must spend time consuming someone else’s content, then TV, film, and video games are far superior methods.
A week of reading can easily be condensed into 90 minutes, with maybe some tits too. Stop burning time reading for more time to write.
Let Noise Be Your Muse
Distraction is the bane of productivity and no one suffers it as easily as the penman. Music tends to qualify as a distraction, but there’s fairly even division between writers for and against listening to music while working. I have the ultimate answer. The solution isn’t to do what works for you, but instead to immerse yourself above the ears in the engulfing warmth of pure unadulterated noise.
Ears gifted us one of our most valuable senses, yet so many are so willing to shun it while writing. Writing is all about taking the world around you, breaking it down, and cooking it into bite-sized bits for the masses. Think of all the morsels you’ll miss due to silence: no traffic noises telling you the mood on the street, no commercials promising the newest bestest thing if you’ll just look for a second, no catchy lyrics to supplant your thoughts.
Without listening to everything, it’s impossible to hear anything important. How does missing out on anything benefit your writing?